patricky

I've spent the day devouring enormous quantities of various snack foods, and traditional feasty things: turkey has passed my lips by the handful; gallons of mashed potatoes have been guzzled; armies of crescent rolls lined up and marched into the greedy gullet of the digestion machine; and slice upon slice of various pies have seen their last sunrise this day.

My family, too, has partaken in unprecedented gastronomical carnage.

And now... and now the house absolutely reeks of fresh (and stale, oh so very stale) post-gluttony farts. Oh, God in heaven, the terrible witch's brew that is the contents of my stomach.

I survived another happy Thanksgiving.

And now I pray for the sweet release of death.