patissier

people often wish they are more this or more that. maybe it just that they wish they had, a more husky voice or a smaller waste line, but there is something. something about you that you like better on someone else or wish you did/didn't have no matter how unmaterialistic or shallow you maybe.
i don't ever wish to change things in my past, however i wish to "get lucky" and chance the outcome of the inpending doom of my conciequences. i admit that i day dream at times about how my life should be perfect. knowing all the while my life is pretty good.
i went to the casino today because after all i have bills to pay, a laywer to feed, and the state of MO just doesn't make enough money in taxes apperantly. i sat at one brillantly flashing instrument of faith and what do you know i have several hundred dollars more than i did before i went in there. not to mention i've been on a bit of a hot streak lately. slots, table games i play it all.
mind you i am in no way complaining, but as the machine kept counting up the credits i couldn't help but think of how nice it would have been to hit the "jackpot". what creditors i would have paid off and the new location (looking to move to Portland). the friend i was with could not stop saying how great it must be to be me. how lucky i always get. and how i'm freakishly lucky because i have some weird sence to know to look down at this very moment to find a four leaf clover shining back at me.
i never realized how "lucky" i am i guess. perhaps we should all evaluate what incredible lives we live.
good luck