paroxysmiclove

it's hilarious how much a person's opinions can change in just a year.

I came to this site mostly enticed by our since-departed Apnea. I've come to despise her stuff now. Perhaps it's her leaving the site; perhaps it's her slapping a membership fee on her previously free site. Maybe it's my eternal anger at greed in the world, and the way that now it's perverting something I used to look to as art. Now, it just feels bitter to me. I have a sour taste in my mouth, but perhaps it's just because I've not eaten anything but popcorn all night. Popcorn or no, you get my point.

As I prepare, sadly, to leave the site (my subscription ends on the 23rd) I somewhat come to realize, now, that the comradery I found from this site was taken for granted. I abandoned the site for a time, only to come back to find a group of magnificent, supportive women that I only wish I'd known originally.

Maybe it's my period sending me on this tangent, or perhaps the psychology take-home essay talking about James-Lange and two-factor theories and the like. Who knows. All's I know is that I feel sad that I won't be able to come back to this site for quite some time - until i get on my feet, financially.

And Brady, don't think that I'm trying to guilt you or blame you for anything. You gave me this gift and I was amazed that it lasted this long. Yes, i'm sorry to see it go, but I suppose that it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Or something else horribly cliche. I don't know.

I must go back to my essay now. Ta.