I have stolen the internet... haha... it's mine! Someone in my apartment complex has an unsecure wireless network, so I get to sponge of of them tonight since I packed mine away.
Tonight I said goodbye to my mom, which actually went really well. We talked about what it was going to be like with me moving so far away and she seams to be taking it a bit better. She held off crying today until I drove away, which helped me out to only mildly feel like shit as I left.
After that, I went back to my best friends house and hung out with the two of them for a few hours. God I am going to miss them so much. Like my mom, we talked some about me leaving and what everyone was feeling. It made me sad, but also a little happy too. Over the years, these two have become so improtant to me and I love them both so much. But I always felt like a third wheel around them because they had each other and I was always just kind of an addition. Well tonight, we talked about how upset they were going to be because they really love the time that just the three of us have together, and always look forward to me being there as much as possible. They talked about how it was going to be really wierd not being able to call me and have me come over for the night. While on one hand, it made me really sad because I desperately don't want to leave the two of them, it also finally made me realize that I mean as much to both of them as they mean to me. So I finally didn't fell like I was on the outside looking in. It may sound sick, but to me that was very comforting.
I don't even know where else to go with this. I use my journal here so I can look back on it and know what I was feeling at certain times. But I don't think I will ever be able to remember this feeling. I have that "sick to the stomach" feel that you get dumped by someone that you really love. It's that same feeling. I feel like I should cry... but I don't. I have no more words.
Tonight I said goodbye to my mom, which actually went really well. We talked about what it was going to be like with me moving so far away and she seams to be taking it a bit better. She held off crying today until I drove away, which helped me out to only mildly feel like shit as I left.
After that, I went back to my best friends house and hung out with the two of them for a few hours. God I am going to miss them so much. Like my mom, we talked some about me leaving and what everyone was feeling. It made me sad, but also a little happy too. Over the years, these two have become so improtant to me and I love them both so much. But I always felt like a third wheel around them because they had each other and I was always just kind of an addition. Well tonight, we talked about how upset they were going to be because they really love the time that just the three of us have together, and always look forward to me being there as much as possible. They talked about how it was going to be really wierd not being able to call me and have me come over for the night. While on one hand, it made me really sad because I desperately don't want to leave the two of them, it also finally made me realize that I mean as much to both of them as they mean to me. So I finally didn't fell like I was on the outside looking in. It may sound sick, but to me that was very comforting.
I don't even know where else to go with this. I use my journal here so I can look back on it and know what I was feeling at certain times. But I don't think I will ever be able to remember this feeling. I have that "sick to the stomach" feel that you get dumped by someone that you really love. It's that same feeling. I feel like I should cry... but I don't. I have no more words.