paragon

I'm completely confident that I have impossible to meet standards for women. It's increadible because I'm trying to find the femal version of me, which I really don't think exists. I'm trying so hard to find someone who has many of the characteristics that I do but is still different enough to make it very interesting to be around her. But the problem is that I have all of these pre required traits that she must have and I don't find people that meet them. I want someone really complex like me. I have so many sides to me, but I'm very stable with myself and who I am. But the problem is that if I ever meet someone like that then they have issues with themself. Granted, I have times myself... shit I'm in one right now. But normally I'm a very stable responsible person. Is it too much to ask to be able to find that but in someone that isn't so fucking boring?
One problem I have is that I thought I found one of these women that just shock and suprise me every day, and it all went to shit because she has way too much drama in her life... bah... I don't even want to get started on that. I'm just done there.
I should find out here in a few hours if I got the job I cooked for on Monday. This should be very interesting. I know the food I made floored the guy, but I also know he's very hesitant to hire someone right out of culinary school. So we'll see where that goes. Shit, ask me in a week... I'll probably be back in an office somewhere or back in sales. I guess the money would be good at least and I'm starting to remember just how important that can be.