pantsonfire

my journals are going to be fucking lame until my nicotine withdrawl has been beaten down to managable levels. there's nothing funny about being a nonsmoker. the same jokes i could tell as a smoker to thunderous guffaws recieve but feeble chuckles as a nonsmoker. instead of trying to entertain, i now hole up in my "crib" as the hip-hoppers call it and watch whatever pathertic excuse for "tv" that the networks are shoveling at me like so much shit.

speaking of "tv", did anyone see the kelsey grammer sketch show? i've seen better sketch comedy from shitstains in my underwear! how predictable and pathetic was it? it was pretty fucking awful. even my cats wouldn't vomit on it.

so it's day 5, and i think i'm hanging in there pretty well. my signifigant other has been really supportive through the tough times, even through the meltdown i had on day one where i was on the verge of tears and pounding on the dashboard of her car, repeating "drop it like it's hot" over and over again. but really, without her being as awesome as she has been, i seriously doubt i'd be doing as well as i am. i've adopted the phrase "drop it like it's hot" as my nonsmoking mantra, reciting it every time i have an urge to smoke. so yeah, i say "drop it like it's hot" an awful lot these days.

i've noticed that withdrawl has made me extremely emotionally hypersensitive. for fuck's sake, i was watching the simpsons last night and i was moved to tears over an interaction between homer & marge. that is fucking pathetic, eh?

well, i know i'm boring now, so all you fuckers (and i mean that in the kindest, least-hostile sense of the word) need to do is encourage me to be strong and use my willpower for good, not evil.

see y'all on day 6!