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pantsonfire

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Member Since 2003

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Thursday Jul 22, 2004

Jul 22, 2004
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i'm alive and getting used to life in the darkness. i have some candles and i have to take a flashlight into the bathroom when i poop or shower. it's alright. it's been a week. a hell of a week.

i went to an all ages show at the vfw with my hot jailbait waitress ("L"). we had a good time - we watched a dozen shitty hardcore bands and then the autumn view, who i auditioned for as a drummer sunday morning (hungover as fuck at 9am on sunday!!). i did well, so maybe they'll ask me to join the band when they come back from their warped tour gig in minneapolis. i hit my drums so hard that the cymbals all fell off their stands and onto the floor. i think i'll find out next tuesday or so.

i've been hitting the bottle extremely hard recently. i've earned the nicknames "joey the drain" and "joey crack" in the last week. sunday through wednesday i averaged an intake of 20+ drinks nightly. mostly old crow bourbon, but some beer & shots of jager, citron, and doubles of watermelon schnapps. liver candy.

tuesday night i was out of food, and despite my brokeness i scrounged up some cash for a nice early afternoon dinner at the palomino. strip steak (rare), fried okra, & tater tots with the amazing vegan ranch. i washed the meal down with a six pack of old style. it was fucking fantastic. for an hour and a half there, i forgot i had any problems at all. went home and buried my face in a book until it was too dark to read and on to the cactus, where shiva8 popped in with billy to check on my scraggly ass. i don't remember much of any of these recent nights, but that's what 20 drinks does to a guy, i guess. i like not remembering. drinking just maakes the time fly by so fast. i wake up around 10am or noon. time is so slow. getting to 5 o'clock is torture, and getting to 8 o'clock is a living hell. i shower and get in my barstool at 8:30 or so and the outside world melts away. before i know it, i'm drunk and my money's gone, and i've conversed with many new people. the cactus club feels like my living room.

now onto a source of much unpleasantness. kelly. i have a feeling if we see each other again there will be a real fight. physical violence. she's tough, i've seen her kick ass in bar brawls and on the street after last calls. she fights like a man. but if she fucks with me i will give it right back to her. i *will* fuck her up, and i'd go to jail happily to knock her down a peg or two. okay, maybe we can be more mature than that. it's all on her, and if she's been sucking from that bottle of heaven hill it's over. i've extended the olive branch to a resonant "fuck you", and she has one last chance to pull her head out of her ass before i regard her as an enemy.

taco-less thursday tonight. i can't show my face in there much anymore, knowing that when rent day comes i will reach in my pockets and pull out not money, but lint. the landlord went apeshit because my power got cut off. "HOW CAN I SHOW THIS PLACE TO PROSPECTIVE TENANTS WHEN THE LIGHTS WON'T TURN ON, JOE???" i need to think of me. september 1st rolls around real soon and i need a place to live. i need a deposit. i need to move all my bullshit out of the jerk store and put it somewhere. does anyone want a free washer & dryer? they're free to a good home. i got to clean up the electricity mess so i can live in a place with power. those bastards at we energies always catch up to me so quickly. and my moped still won't work, so i need to find a place to store it. maybe i can get the $$ to fix it for next summer. damn piece of shit.

anyway, thanks for all your concern. times are rough, but i will come out of this saner and more laid back than you ever thought was possible. it only seems worse because jenni & kelly have shunned me, and they were my main source of emotional support through the various crisises that pop up. how convenient to back out on me for the big one, eh? i'm not bitter, no i'm not...........

UPDATE

alright, i got an e-mail today and i'm in the band. we're going to warped tour minneapolis this weekend and it will be their current drummer's final show - the split is amicable, he just doesn't want to deal with the hassles of playing shows everywhere and being on the road. so that means i will miss both dillinger 4 shows here in town this weekend (which sucks) but i get all-access at warped for free. and booze is free. yeah.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
1aura1:
congrats biggrin
Jul 23, 2004
artman:
a fugitive from we energies one day, rock star the next! Good luck!
Jul 24, 2004

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