pantsonfire

finally, a vacation. last night was the last fucking cheerleading competition i will (hopefully) ever shoot, and it was on to bertha's mussels in baltimore for crab soup, whiskey on the rocks, & a heaping bowl of shellfis with garlic butter sauce.

waking up today was early, but i was excited to take the train from baltimore to nyc. i was in with a car full of girl scouts, with green sashes and patches from all the crap they've done. i followed the girl scouts and their chaperones to the cafe car, and ordered a big old glass of ice & whiskey. "is there a merit badge for drinking?" i asked the group? they didn't find that as funny as i did.

so i'm here at big jonny's pad in brooklyn. he lives with a girl, and it shows in the details. pictures on the wall in frames, there are scented candles in the bathroom, and the fridge actually has food in it!! i think i met his girl last time out here, but i can't be too sure.

jonny is a monogamizer. i've seen him go from a 12 year old geek to the guy he is now. every girlfriend he's ever had has been a two year plus ordeal. there was emily (an early ex of mine), jasmine (who i always wanted but never could have), alexia (extrordinarily fuckable, yet scary-crazy - now dating the drummer of the faint) and now nyc katie. they have a dog. the one non-monogamous long term relationship jonny's had was with omaha katie. here's a little story about this:

katie & i went way back. we traded oral sex with each other as teenagers, drifted apart (she claimed for a time that i broke her heart - i don't believe that to be true), and found ourselves on separate hoses of the same hookah. any time we hung out, we'd end up naked with each other, and this was no exception. armond, jonny's brother and my roommate, walked into my room to borrow a tie for his shitty computer-geek job and caught katie & me wailing away on each other - her legs spread wide with me between them, hairy buttocks pumping away. that was a little embarassing, but that isn't the end of the tale:

later that night, after armond was home from work, there was a knock on the door. it was jonny and katie. he introduced her to us as his girlfriend. she looked mortified, understandably. eventually they left, and armond turns to me and asks "wasn't that the girl i saw you with this morning?"

yes it was, yes it was........

and such is life in omaha nebraska.




so anyone in nyc, e-mail me to hang out. i'm here all week. and wisconsin people, i'll see you at my place on 4/24/04 for my __________
party. i'm working on the name.......