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pantagrowl

texas

Member Since 2003

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Thursday Feb 26, 2004

Feb 26, 2004
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Phooey, I say, on all white-shoe college boys who edit their campus literary magazines. Give me an honest con man any day.

-Zooey, from "Franny and Zooey"

Once again, the week leaves me feeling that I need to have my brakes changed. And I mean that figuratively, for being exhausted, not literally needing to have car brakes changed.

As of the other evening, I am now an editor of two campus literary magazines. They both have the word "blue" in the title- isn't that amusing. What this has taught me is that I have an amazing inability to even consider saying "no". Every time I try to figure out why I have become a cranky, belligerent, and tired I always reach the same conclusion: too much work. Most people, even my girlfriend (though she knows better), assume that this stems from some sort of crazy, foaming-at-the-mouth "Type A" personality. Really though, I think the problem is that I just kind of drift into things and end up with obligations towards other people. I don't want to let them down. Eventually, those obligations become fixed and rooted, and all of a sudden I lose a couple hours every week for such and such.

The question I ask myself, though, is whether this cycle is simply a product of being in a demanding college, or whether i am developing "life habits." Hmm. this is depressing. Switching subjects....

In other news: my girlfriend is coming to New York next weekend! She will chastise me upon seeing the squalor in which I have been living; it's really quite impressive. I actively avoid bringing friends over because of the filth. Actually, the room is so bad that people enter it with the reverence of 13th century peasants in a cathedral. I was supposed to have gotten over this whole disorganization thing in my first year. Strangely, though, I was much better then. I was a dandy, really: pressed pants, clean room, fresh-brewed tea all the time. How far I have fallen: my desktop is a little metropolis of coffee cans, water bottles, etc. And beer. Standing triumphantly above it all is the stack of CDs that I just purchased. As my profile suggests, I have had something of a musical crisis, so I just bought a lot of random stuff. A fair amount of alt/country, whatever that means. My Morning Jacket is pretty good. As are the Silver Jews.

Going along with the whole squalor thing, I have been wearing the same knit cap every day so that I don't have to deal with my hair. Homeless people no longer ask me for change.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
roby:
i do that a lot. the sitting at the computer in my underwear. minus the cursing. i probably look like i'm stoned.
Feb 27, 2004
velocity:
You know, you really ought to apply for Flux's SG National Honor Society. I think you'd fit in wonderfully with the rest of the pundits and literati.

SGNHS

Oh, and I've made it a week without breaking any eggs (except to cook them).

[Edited on Feb 29, 2004 2:00PM]
Feb 29, 2004

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