Oh wooooooooo.
I got very fucked up last night. it was not good. not good at all. I got drunk, watched a few films and just randomly flipped out, went totally hysterical for no reason. i slashed my arm up pretty badly with some broken glass, cried and raged, put up some stupid posts and eventually left my room and found someone. i knocked on the guys door next to me and we dont know each other particularly well but he reacted surprisingly well to a drunk, sobbing, bleeding idiot turning up at his door.
Obviously i dont feel great today but at least im calm, and its going to take a lot to make me drink on my own again.
So, I put a photo of Catrin up in my pics at last, it was the only picture of her that she liked so im sorry its a bit obscure and you cant really see her, i think the general idea comes across.
We didnt have too good of a day. I showed her my cuts, as you must, and she freaked out a bit. I dont know what i expected but i wasnt prepared for how bad she felt hurt about what id done. She suggested we split up (i have no idea where that idea came from). I told her that i really didnt want to. but it left me upset that she would even think of the idea. i guess im feeling very unstable and fragile at the moment and as a result not thinking too straight.
She got great news though, she got accepted on an MSc course in Aberdeen and all theyre asking for is a 2-2 which is brilliant, far better than she expected (i cant say i was particularly surprised, she seems to have no idea how bright she is. just because shes crap at chess doesnt mean anything (as I tell her)).
We went shopping and she bought me a strange book of Japanese logic problems, crazy, i spent hours trying to get grids of random numbers to look like a coca cola bottle. we went to a pub with a couple of her friends and had a few drinks, listened to the heavy rock music and played quizzes on a games machine, mediocre, enjoyable.
ive been doing lots of pictures and stuff recently so please take a look at my site if you have a moment, im hoping to build it up slowly into a decent collection of stuff:The Panic Function
Smile.
I got very fucked up last night. it was not good. not good at all. I got drunk, watched a few films and just randomly flipped out, went totally hysterical for no reason. i slashed my arm up pretty badly with some broken glass, cried and raged, put up some stupid posts and eventually left my room and found someone. i knocked on the guys door next to me and we dont know each other particularly well but he reacted surprisingly well to a drunk, sobbing, bleeding idiot turning up at his door.
Obviously i dont feel great today but at least im calm, and its going to take a lot to make me drink on my own again.
So, I put a photo of Catrin up in my pics at last, it was the only picture of her that she liked so im sorry its a bit obscure and you cant really see her, i think the general idea comes across.
We didnt have too good of a day. I showed her my cuts, as you must, and she freaked out a bit. I dont know what i expected but i wasnt prepared for how bad she felt hurt about what id done. She suggested we split up (i have no idea where that idea came from). I told her that i really didnt want to. but it left me upset that she would even think of the idea. i guess im feeling very unstable and fragile at the moment and as a result not thinking too straight.
She got great news though, she got accepted on an MSc course in Aberdeen and all theyre asking for is a 2-2 which is brilliant, far better than she expected (i cant say i was particularly surprised, she seems to have no idea how bright she is. just because shes crap at chess doesnt mean anything (as I tell her)).
We went shopping and she bought me a strange book of Japanese logic problems, crazy, i spent hours trying to get grids of random numbers to look like a coca cola bottle. we went to a pub with a couple of her friends and had a few drinks, listened to the heavy rock music and played quizzes on a games machine, mediocre, enjoyable.
ive been doing lots of pictures and stuff recently so please take a look at my site if you have a moment, im hoping to build it up slowly into a decent collection of stuff:The Panic Function
Smile.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
Consider doing a photo journal of your dalliances with self mutilation. It may help you to see things through someone elses eyes. Try seeing it through Caitlins eyes. Maybe do it online here.
Anyway good luck, remember the saying, if it hurts to lift your arm, don't lift your arm... don't drink alone...