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pandasloth

Newburyport (aka. Innsmouth)

Member Since 2004

Followers 44 Following 71

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Saturday Mar 14, 2009

Mar 14, 2009
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I have this cool tingle just behind my eyes, a slight twinge of tension in the back of my head, a little wobble in my balance. I notice my hand eye coordination is slightly off, and my spacial awareness is occasionally impaired. At times when I feel like I would be bored and depressed, I feel a kind of empty pleasant hollow feeling. It's not really as bad as I just made that sound, but it's the only way I can explain it. like a fabricated metallic calm, stillness. I feel like I need to eat something, but I just ate and I don't really feel hungry, or rather I feel like I am, but there is no craving on this medication. Reality has taken a slightly lilting step to the left, and then semi corrected, and I'm now standing somewhere right of the world as it was. slightly de-realized, slightly skewed self image, slightly skewed emotional responses. There's the pleasurable effects and mild euphoria of an increase of Dopamine and, the energy increase of Norepinephrine floating around my brain, blocked from being collected by their constituent receptors. It's working at making me feel different but, I'm as of yet unsure if it's a "good" different or a dull, uncreative, warped different. The experience on a whole is pretty interesting from an intellectual and slightly philosophical standpoint. It's good to feel as though I can see the changes and express them in some manner or fashion but, it's also my fear that I will miss something, or be blinded to the change because along with it went my tools for sensing it. I think I'll let my friends let me in on the self referential joke that is the (possible) unperceived warping of my personality.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
jena:
What kind of medication are you romancing? And respond over by me...not here...I'll never know if you've replied otherwise.

Sorry to be so demanding. But I love medication stories.
Mar 27, 2009
jena:
Hope you had a good night. smile
Mar 28, 2009

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