so very unhappy.

so very alone.

so very whiney....
i cant even complain about how miserable i feel currently, without comming across as a pathetic, moronic misanthrope.
also, i dont know why i even bother typing in this bloody thing, because people do not read this.

i am talking to myself.

now, that is sad.

oh no no no. this just wont do! i could be so happy.
all i have to do is be so.. right? all there needs be is air and sun and ground, and all is right with existence.

the moon eclipsed. I looked for it, but it was raining as i traveled across the state to northhapton.
my friend Renate's birthday evening.. at a bar called the dirty truth was the reason for my journey.

i drank, i smoked ciggarettes.. i talked about plans and future business prospects...
and old loss.

oh there it is again.
i brought up my pain, again.

who gives a fuck? everyone has pain!.. mine no greater or lesser than any other... just pain....
worthless..
meager..
mediocre..
pain.

i have a sinus cold me'thinks.
i am drinking a pot of green tea...

this has been a snapshot momentary glimps-like look at my cursory duration.