so i got to spend the weekend at the hospital ...
who's jealous??
actually, i wasn't the one sick - it was my momma.
but she's being released today, so that's good.
hospital food SUCKS!!! unless you like bland, textureless food.
other than that, things are pretty good. i get to see the cutest turdboi ever in just over two weeks ... and i think...
Read More
who's jealous??
actually, i wasn't the one sick - it was my momma.
but she's being released today, so that's good.
hospital food SUCKS!!! unless you like bland, textureless food.
other than that, things are pretty good. i get to see the cutest turdboi ever in just over two weeks ... and i think...
Read More
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have
an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets,...
Read More
an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets,...
Read More
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
lifter77:
those are funny.......you should have my babies
angeld:
Knew I was doing something wrong...... 
19 Fun things to do in a public bathroom
1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise
4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."...
Read More
1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise
4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."...
Read More
VIEW 19 of 19 COMMENTS
jacinda:
hahahaha PANDA"fuck shit up"MONIUM
johnnyfive:
the kissin' cousin of your journal entry would be the 19 funniest things you've ever read on bathroom walls...
my favorite is: no matter how hot she is, someone somewhere is sick of her shit.
my favorite is: no matter how hot she is, someone somewhere is sick of her shit.
BLONDE COOKBOOK
MONDAY:
It's fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.
TUESDAY:
Tom wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Tom brought a friend home for supper.
WEDNESDAY:
A good day...
Read More
MONDAY:
It's fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.
TUESDAY:
Tom wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Tom brought a friend home for supper.
WEDNESDAY:
A good day...
Read More
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
violencejack:
I am all the day with my cock up. 
jacinda:
funny girl
funny girli really hate when bad shit happens ... especially when my relatives are involved.
my cousin Jessica, my tattooer - she's also in some pics in my profile, and her loser, jealous, controlling, trailer trash husband left town in the middle of the night to go back to Ft Payne AL where he's from. prompted by his low paying wage and his demand that my...
Read More
my cousin Jessica, my tattooer - she's also in some pics in my profile, and her loser, jealous, controlling, trailer trash husband left town in the middle of the night to go back to Ft Payne AL where he's from. prompted by his low paying wage and his demand that my...
Read More
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
holden_caulfield:
Oh, I forgot to mention. . .three strikes laws are ridiculous. They are like mandatory minimums. . .and most judges don't like them. 
angeld:
Sorry babe, thats fucking harsh.
*massive hug*
Hope it works out.
*massive hug*
Hope it works out.
my new roommate has totally made my week ... were it not for a visit at the end of this month from the cutest turdboi ever, she'd have made my whole month.
we're in her kitchen, i'm mixing the cookie dough (yes, chocolate chip cookies from scratch ... panda knows how to bake
) and i begin telling her about a piercing i've been...
Read More
we're in her kitchen, i'm mixing the cookie dough (yes, chocolate chip cookies from scratch ... panda knows how to bake
) and i begin telling her about a piercing i've been... Read More
VIEW 19 of 19 COMMENTS
serenity_star:
thanks for the birthday wishes!
sacredlion:
Unsurprisingly, the dilettante is in a hightened state of distraction, brought on by a myriad of creative opportunities all competing for his attention. When pressed on the issue however, he would begrudgingly admit to having it no other way.
Yet of all these distractions, few are as flattering to the dilettante as the idle conceit that a certain Panda has spared a precious moment to inquire after him.
It sounds as though you've had an enligtening experience yourself recently. It sounds as though your roommate is in for a long-overdue education
Take care,
SacredLion
Yet of all these distractions, few are as flattering to the dilettante as the idle conceit that a certain Panda has spared a precious moment to inquire after him.
It sounds as though you've had an enligtening experience yourself recently. It sounds as though your roommate is in for a long-overdue education
Take care,
SacredLion
15 things to do at Wal*Mart
Here are 15 things that a man (with a sense of humor) can do at Wal-Mart while his wife is taking her sweet time shopping:
(#s 10 and 13 made this panda giggle out loud)
1. Get 20 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in...
Read More
Here are 15 things that a man (with a sense of humor) can do at Wal-Mart while his wife is taking her sweet time shopping:
(#s 10 and 13 made this panda giggle out loud)
1. Get 20 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in...
Read More
VIEW 19 of 19 COMMENTS
pr3vert:
failure is a nice way to pass the time.
salamander_pie:
you said you didn't use condoms....
you said you didn't use condoms....so i'm finally moved.
fucking YAY!!!
some of you were aware of my living situation and some weren't. basically my (now ex-) roommate was a dildo-licker who would come home and take out his aggression on yours truly ... it was only physical once, but in this panda's opinion, that's one too many fucking times. sooooo .....
i am now living with my friend who's...
Read More
fucking YAY!!!
some of you were aware of my living situation and some weren't. basically my (now ex-) roommate was a dildo-licker who would come home and take out his aggression on yours truly ... it was only physical once, but in this panda's opinion, that's one too many fucking times. sooooo .....
i am now living with my friend who's...
Read More
VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
dr_zoidberg:
Thanks a lot hon!
salamander_pie:
i love you
thanks for all the advise, ya'll. (yeah, i said "ya'll")
fortunately, this was not a situation in which i found myself, but was involved, am involved, due to my relationships with both parties.
most of you think of me as a sweet person, which i can be, but i can also assure you that were i to have found myself in said situation, much hell...
Read More
fortunately, this was not a situation in which i found myself, but was involved, am involved, due to my relationships with both parties.
most of you think of me as a sweet person, which i can be, but i can also assure you that were i to have found myself in said situation, much hell...
Read More
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
violencejack:
So... Wazzup?
salamander_pie:
you big fat fatty fat fat grizzly bear wannabe, don't degrade my species, yo. you know Jacinda got it right... she wrote "amphibian" on my profile.
i have an urgent must do music download for you. get "hands around my throat" by Death in Vegas.
i have an urgent must do music download for you. get "hands around my throat" by Death in Vegas.
compromise.
an important factor in kindling relationships.
putting the happiness of those you care about before your own, but having this done for you in equal measures.
at what point, though, does one decide to ignore their own want of happiness to keep those they care about happy?
weeks, months....years ?
if you know changing a situation that makes you miserable will end the...
Read More
an important factor in kindling relationships.
putting the happiness of those you care about before your own, but having this done for you in equal measures.
at what point, though, does one decide to ignore their own want of happiness to keep those they care about happy?
weeks, months....years ?
if you know changing a situation that makes you miserable will end the...
Read More
VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
vamptear:
It all depends on your own self worth, your past, and just how commited to the person you are, and most importantly how commited the other person is to you. If the other person isn't commited and compromising as well then it isn't compromise at all now is it.. For me though there are people out there I'd die for. Those that I would suffer eternally for. A few of them I have only known for a short time. It's not always a question of love. It can be how you see that person and their actions.
So there is not a straight answer for everyone. The answer is based on who you are, and of course that is different for everyone.
So there is not a straight answer for everyone. The answer is based on who you are, and of course that is different for everyone.
err:
its part of my work release program. i still have to wear it when im out so that i dont get hit by any cars while im cleaning the highway.
P.s. Is your sign still going to read "Don't poke the bear" when your turdboi shows up??
[Edited on Sep 14, 2004 4:04AM]