pandamonium

apparently, sleeping on things (arguments and such) does nothing more for me than making me late for work.

and then i get to wake up to still being upset.


my 17 year old roommate is FUCKING PSYCHO!!!

just thought i'd share that.

Learning to love differently is hard,
love with the hands wide open, love
with the doors banging on their hinges,
the cupboard unlocked, the wind
roaring and whimpering in the rooms
rustling the sheets and snapping the blinds
that thwack like rubber bands
in an open palm.

It hurts to love wide open
stretching the muscles that feel
as if they are made of wet...
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meh.

tell me jokes. i need funny.

The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Money can't buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with.
Psychiatrists say that 1 in 4 people is mentally ill. Check three friends. If they're OK, it's you.
Nothing in the universe travels faster than a bounced check.
Always...
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Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

Lady 1: What's that?

Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Lady 1: Where did you get it?

Lady 2: You can...
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There was once a man and woman who had been married for more than 60 years. They talked about everything. They kept no secrets from each other except that the old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about. For all these years he had never thought about the box,...
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this fucking sucks. my whole living room area, bedroom, and spare room thingie are all flooded. (i live in the basement of my friends house ... a la People Under the Stairs) and it's water from under the house, so it's all muddy.

fucking hurricanes!!



p.s. on top of all the extra water, poop weather, destroyed property .... my medicine seems to be failing me.

blegh. so my niece's birthday party was last night. she's two. her cousin's one year birthday was a few days before, so it was a joint party. aaand they're Mexican (well my niece is half Mexican) and since Sept 15th is Mexico's Independence Day, the party was for both birthdays and Independence Day. i say that to preface the size of the party. fucking huge....
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bleh.

for anyone who currently or has ever woked in an office environment. these had me nearly in tears.

ONE POINT OFFICE DARES

1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.
2) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
3) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk...
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