okay, so since lifter77 doesn't appreciate my funny, here's a real update.
so i was supposed to go to Mister Idjiit's 30th birthday party, but had the pleasure of a shitton of work being dumped on my desk Friday afternoon. so yes, this panda was working most of the weekend.
and my mom was sick, but is getting better so that's good.
my brother...
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so i was supposed to go to Mister Idjiit's 30th birthday party, but had the pleasure of a shitton of work being dumped on my desk Friday afternoon. so yes, this panda was working most of the weekend.
and my mom was sick, but is getting better so that's good.
my brother...
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VIEW 25 of 28 COMMENTS
Gina was on her death bed with her husband, David, maintaining a steady vigil by her side. As he held her fragile hand, his warm tears ran silently down his face, splashed onto her face, and roused her from her slumber. She looked up and her pale lips began to move slightly. "My darling David," she whispered.
"Hush, my love," he said. "Go back to...
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"Hush, my love," he said. "Go back to...
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VIEW 25 of 28 COMMENTS
lifter77:
one day i will check your journal and get an actual update.........not that i dont like the jokes...but i'd like too hear horw things are once in a while, and not feel like i stumbled into a fowarded email from my mom 
thejuanupsman:
Not flattery when it is true. 
A girl came skipping home FROM school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, Honey, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came...
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"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, Honey, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came...
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VIEW 25 of 32 COMMENTS
teenagesuperstar:
I love the blonde jokes. You have an inexhaustable supply of jokes clearly 
yebutz:
here's a bolnde joke for you:
A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do. "Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said. "How much will you charge me?" The blonde quickly responded, "How about 50 bucks?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need were in the garage. The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?" The man responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"
The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those 'dumb blonde' jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" the husband asked. "Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."
i love that one
-me
A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do. "Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said. "How much will you charge me?" The blonde quickly responded, "How about 50 bucks?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need were in the garage. The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?" The man responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"
The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those 'dumb blonde' jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" the husband asked. "Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."
i love that one
-me
One day a kid approaches his dad about some trouble he's having on a vocabulary test.
He says, "Dad, I'm having trouble with these two words: hypothetically and realistically."
So his dad tells him to go and ask his sister if she would sleep with a total stranger for a million dollars. The kid goes off and comes back a little while later.
"Dad, she...
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He says, "Dad, I'm having trouble with these two words: hypothetically and realistically."
So his dad tells him to go and ask his sister if she would sleep with a total stranger for a million dollars. The kid goes off and comes back a little while later.
"Dad, she...
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VIEW 25 of 31 COMMENTS
jonc:
unfortunately i need to leave everything and everyone behind.
germ13:
Those kicked arse 
I especially loved the second one.
I especially loved the second one.Bad: You can't find your vibrator. Worse: Your daughter "borrowed" it.
Bad: You find a porn movie in your son's room. Worse: You're in it.
Bad: Your children are sexually active. Worse: With each other.
Bad: Your husband's a cross dresser. Worse: He looks better than you.
Bad: Your son's involved in Satanism. Worse: As a sacrifice.
Bad: Your wife's arrested for soliciting. Worse: She...
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Bad: You find a porn movie in your son's room. Worse: You're in it.
Bad: Your children are sexually active. Worse: With each other.
Bad: Your husband's a cross dresser. Worse: He looks better than you.
Bad: Your son's involved in Satanism. Worse: As a sacrifice.
Bad: Your wife's arrested for soliciting. Worse: She...
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VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
ring:
i love your posts... congrats on the raise! Hope the throat is feeling better. I think my left ear has finally stopped ringing.. right ear is still a bit there yet.
daghost:
You always make me smile, crazy ass posts
VIEW 27 of 27 COMMENTS
mrstitches:
Eh, I have to beat the women off with a stick as it is.
ring:
Manson was awesome, saw him Saturday in Atlanta at the Taburnacle... my ears are still ringing it was so freaking loud. I love his shows... so much freakin fun
ever have a guided tour of a funeral home?
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koenigsegg:
did you ever know that you're my heeee-roooooo
teenagesuperstar:
ah ha! ind of like the way everyone i know is either "fella" or "geez"!
enjoy your vacation, you deserve it
enjoy your vacation, you deserve it
VIEW 21 of 21 COMMENTS
sevenmag:
thedru nk ismeee
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deacon_:
Watch out she has the power of posting pictures. hahaha
Thats cool sweetie. I will see you tommorrow night. I will have some cold beer waiting.
Thats cool sweetie. I will see you tommorrow night. I will have some cold beer waiting.
deacon_:
Its sunny around 55 degrees. Crown is good.
ever get tired of being who you are?
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atomh8:
hey, maybe I am a panda then!
Hello!
Hello!
jumpstreet:
Sometimes.
Well I thought of you when I saw this.
Preview:
[k]