pandamonium

What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night?

Crib death.



How do you make a cat go 'woof'?

Soak it in gas, and set it on fire.



What has four legs and eight arms?

A pit-bull terrier at a children's play area.




What is green and eats nuts?

Herpes.



How do you make a dog go 'miaow'?

Freeze it in liquid nitrogen, and run it through a bandsaw.



Why do women have smaller feet than men?

So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.


Stick your tongue out.
Move it up and down.
Relax.
Now move it left and right.
Well done! You have now completed Christopher Reeves workout video.