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pandamonium

the bamboo forests of China.

Member Since 2004

Followers 92 Following 63

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Wednesday Nov 03, 2004

Nov 3, 2004
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i might be leaving the site.

for good.

i've fucked up.

and i don't know if there's any way to fix it.

frown frown frown frown frown frown frown frown frown frown frown frown frown frown frown frown frown

and you wonder why i hate myself so much.

why can't i just be normal? why do i have to be so fucked up?

why do i have to take a wonderful guy and annoy him to the point of insanity?

***************************************************

while i sincerely appreciate everyone's comments, i don't think there's any medication strong enough to fix my neuroses.

i don't think i've ever hated myself more.
VIEW 25 of 25 COMMENTS
teenagesuperstar:
hey, just thought of something, not sure whether you may find any comfort in it.
My counsellor said to me the other day " The problems you have, we could spend years on."
Now, the cynics may say "well he would say that, it's keeping him in business if you keep coming back."
but this is the thing: it's a free service, provided by the university, and is only a 6-12 week course.

so you're not alone on the fuck up score. i might even go to a different counsellor and talk about what me counsellor said ( i kid, but it doesn't fill you with positive feelings about yourself.)

it's one thing feeling a fuck up, it's quite another be you are one.
Nov 3, 2004
buzzhum:
I knew about your new piercing..I did not however know that you were freaking over anythign with the boy. I don't know what going on here with him or why you two are not on the up and up, I think the idea of leaving the site over him is ludicris.

You have too much potential to meet cool people and stare at pretty boobies to leave. What good would leaving do other then ...well..it won't do any good. I can't even dream up a way to make that an even half assed good idea.

I don't mean to be mean..but WAKE UP YO. Don't do something stupid becasue you did somethign stupid. Not that I know you even did anything stupid. I'm sure he's a great boy...but he's just a boy as well.

YOu met a boy. You liked him. It (seems it) isn't working. Be sad..get passed it...move along..nothing to see here.

Don't stop seeing your potential becasue of the bad things in your life. Its REALLY sad when that happens.
Nov 3, 2004

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