pandamonium

for anyone who currently or has ever woked in an office environment. these had me nearly in tears.

ONE POINT OFFICE DARES

1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.
2) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
3) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now."
4) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
5) When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it and whisper huskily, "Mmmmmm, that feels sooo goood!"
6) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry I really prefer it this way."
7) Walk sideways to the photocopier.
8) While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the door opens.

THREE POINT DARES

1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.
2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it."
3) Page yourself over the intercom (do NOT disguise your voice).
4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a non-player within sight).
5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
6) Walk in to a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
7) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob."
8) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

FIVE POINT DARES

1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem. (Ten extra points if you actually launch into it yourself.)
2) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two."
3) After every sentence say, "mon" in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "the report's on your desk, mon." Keep this up for one hour.
4) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
5) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"
6) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce: "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again."
7) In a colleague's diary, write in at 10:00am - "See how I look in tights."
8) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?"
9) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person, "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
10) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say "I can't talk about it."
11) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
12) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.