Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

pandamonium

the bamboo forests of China.

Member Since 2004

Followers 92 Following 63

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Thursday Jan 12, 2006

Jan 12, 2006
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
WHAT PORNOS WOULD HAVE US BELIEVE...

1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blowjob will always get a women off a speeding ticket.
10. All women are noisy fucks.
11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
12. Those tits are real.
13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other.(and the girl isn't disgusted!)
16. Double penetration makes women smile.
17. Asian men don't exist.
18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes,the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
19. There's a plot.
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
21. Nurses suck patients cocks.
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
24. Women never have headaches... or periods.
25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
26. Assholes are clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a womans butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.
29. Men don't have to beg.
30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.



VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
atomh8:
yes, fucking like a porn star has gotten me in quite a bit of trouble in the past. smile wink
Jan 15, 2006
metatag:
And when you deliver pizza to the super hot woman, she pulls you into her bedroom 5 seconds after she opens the front door...

Actually, that rumour was spread by home delivery pizza companies, who had trouble employing people on piss poor wages.

That's why the turnover rate of pizza delivery guys is so high. Once the delivery guy work out that he is only working almost for nothing, he knows that he has been tricked and he leaves wink
Jan 15, 2006

More Blogs

  • 04.01.09
    9

    Wednesday Apr 01, 2009

    Read More
  • 04.01.09
    0

    Wednesday Apr 01, 2009

    Read More
  • 03.30.09
    1

    Monday Mar 30, 2009

    after 16 hours in labor, my sister in law gave birth to a healthy 8 l…
  • 03.28.09
    4

    Saturday Mar 28, 2009

    i got promoted! yay! in two weeks, i will be back in management. go…
  • 03.24.09
    2

    Wednesday Mar 25, 2009

    Read More
  • 03.19.09
    2

    Thursday Mar 19, 2009

    A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving …
  • 03.16.09
    4

    Monday Mar 16, 2009

    A woman awakes during the night, and her husband isnt in bed with her…
  • 03.14.09
    3

    Saturday Mar 14, 2009

    so, i'm having this weird, life crisis thing going on. i took out se…
  • 03.01.09
    8

    Monday Mar 02, 2009

    It's my dog's birthday today! He's one year old! My baby's all gr…
  • 02.03.09
    3

    Wednesday Feb 04, 2009

    so i'm starting my road trip tonight. my dad is having his hip repla…

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
11
months
4
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,604 SuicideGirls
  • 1,115,148 followers
  • 14,955,868 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,481,630 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo