pammy

Yucky day today.

A few weeks ago I was climbing into a truck (my darling TommyTwoTone lets me drive his ginormous truck to work everyday cuz that's the awesomeness way he rolls y'all). Anyhoo, I grabbed the handle-thingy on the inside of the door and hopped in and just as I did I pulled a muscle in my back. (probably from the free-weight of my enormous ass YEAH I SAID IT!) It hurt for a bit but then it seemed to turn into a strange little muscle knot of pain just right between my shoulder blade and spine. I tried everything to get rid of it. For the next couple of weeks I took Tommy's pain meds once in a while and stretched and he rubbed the knot out several times for me too, but it kept coming back. Then last week it started to spread, I could feel muscles tightening going up to my shoulder proper and down my spine to my lower back. it would get super tight and painful and I've basically just been self-medicating, etc since. Today I got up and stretched it out as best I could like every morning and went to work. I was doing fine (well no worse than it had been anyway) then right in the middle of my busiest time of the work day it got bad and I mean really bad. Suddenly I was so tight it felt like my whole left side of my back felt like it was made of stone, and I couldn't turn my head to the left or look up! i decided to go to urgent care just as soon as i finished everything at work. I wanted Tommy to go with me because if they shot me up with anything I didn't want to be driving (truthfully I was just a selfish baby and wanted him near me). I got home and he drove me to the nearest urgent care. I got in only to find out I couldn't afford it. Insurance at my work blows like your mom, so I passed on it, so payment is due in full the same day and I just didn't have the cash. So they turned me away and I started crying, dammit, I cried all the way home. While he was driving my crybaby ass home Tommy called a relative who is a massuese for me. He has no idea how much he's the one who takes care of ME.We got home and he gave me a shitton of meds (meds HE needs)and sat next to me in bed as long as he could. I'm not sure if it was the Vicodin or him holding my hand that finally calmed me down. Apperently when I take this cocktail of meds it makes me hyper rather than sleepy. So I decided to whine about my shity day here. But I want to also rave about my boyfriend, who if you havn't noticed yet, is the best guy in the whole world. If you know me, you know that I never believed in a million years there'd be someone for me like him. I sure have changed my tune. I could give a hundred examples every day of how he loves me, cares for me, supports me and takes care of me. I sometimes wonder if I deserve it. I just hope that he realises just how much I love him and how in love with him I am. I guess my point to this is really that every cloud (my fucked back) has a silver lining (my baby loves me!)