pammy

Went with PunkNiteMike, Modvayne, and Metal_and_Ink to see The Luxury Pushers and The Jackalopes last night.Rev Wells birthday and such. Had a good time a nice surprise and a good brekkie.Random weekends without my kid leave me with open nights that I have no idea what to do with. I am not one of those folks that can just call people up and be like "hey let's do something tonight" I always feel like I'm intruding or something because it's always last minute. I am real horrible about judging what others think of me in social situations. I mean i'll go out, but I don't drink much anymore, therefore am way more laid back than before, I never dance, noone wants to see that happen, trust me. So I sit and chill and take it all in, try to enjoy the moment, it makes some people think that I am either sad, or depressed or a snob or what not. Not real sure what to do with that just yet. I'm just being me, I mean I don't go around grinning like a moron all the time and chatting up the scene. As a general rule at a club or something, I don't give half a fuck how many band members you know, how punk you are, how much money you have, where you get your hair cut, how many people are in the club that you know and want to introduce me to, basically I think I just am fascinated by the social behavior of the local scene more than I want to be a part of it. I never got out much locally, and now that I do once in awhile it totally interests me to see how people act. Not to mention the "local celebs" that's my favorite, the folks I do know seem to think I should be doing everything I can to be part of their "crowd" worshipping at the alters of the big fish in the little pond. It's just not me. I love talking to people in general, but just not the punk politics. I'm just not the girl to try to impress or the girl that tries to impress too much. The realization of this has just hit me recently and I'm not sure I like it. It seems to be getting bigger and bigger. I can't wait to see what happens to the "scene" when the inevitable changes of ranks and uniform (can someone please put the change from rockabilly on fast forward for me? It looks like hot topic puked all over dayton). I feel like the lunatic fringe just doing what i always did and throwing on something I think is cute and heading out the door.