palebloom

lots of entries in one day. i've started feeling scared, though, because like...

i don't know. he tells me he has the solution to my problem.

that i will be out of here soon.

that i will not have to live with people who do not treat me right anymore, and that i'll come home from work happy every day to someone who'll hug me and kiss me and tell me i'm pretty.

but i have to stop thinking of other people as my saviors.

he is not my hero.

i am.

i have to get myself out of here.

it's sad to live your life and not know what peace is, or love. or contentedness, even. i get scared every time i drive down my own street.

i am not ten years old anymore. i'm a big girl and i'm going to make it stop.

soon.

i am going to get away from this, because it is a part of what i said i was going to do.

all i know is that the little growing up i have left to do cannot be done here, or i will end up treating the people in my life the way these people have treated me.

and i will have no one left in the end, just like them.