painunbound

So it's a strange fuckin' day. Maybe it's the heat again, I don't know, but everyone has come out of the wood-work to bother me. I'm feeling a little sick too. I don't think anyone is truly accepting of me. It's something that has plagued me for a long time. I stood at work today, and everyone there is a bit judgemental of me. Hell they are all alot judgemental of me, maybe it's because I'm younger than them all by ten years or that my lifestyle doesn't fit in there world. I hate them for it. The place is poison. It's like nothing I could ever explain, well it's kinda like highschool but the seniors are really seniors. Don't get me wrong some people, very few people are cool, are cool. But I think of an incident that happened a couple days ago. Where something I said was twisted around, and used to hurt someone else, and the person that did it, is someone I'm really close with... I was in his wedding. But it's just more of the same. People come into the fold and go out just as quick. But that's work and until I get a job as a chainsaw weilding mad-man, which unfortunately due to the finailty of New Line's "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" I will more than likely never have the chance. Then there's the people that exist in my day to day, or when so ever they choose to come and play in my world, man they suck! Sometimes I feel like an ornament, it's neat to look at, and I get taken out for display once in a while. Maybe I'm not worth the time? Maybe it is that old saying where you stop making friends after highschool, and then you only have aquaintences, maybe I'm wanting to much right? Sometimes I try to see it from there perspective, maybe I am too much, too over the top, maybe I talk to much, try to hard, maybe I am too sick for some people fuck I don't know. Sometimes I want to change my myself so I can be the personafication of what they all see. I can be the monkey, and do a little dance.