my halloween was FUCKING LAME.
ugh i cannot believe how i end up in this lame ass situations.
ok so, my friend amy and i decided we would go and see Zack and Miri make a porno for halloween, since a) i had to work at 8am the next day and b) she didn't have to go to a party till11pm. Then she invites this other girl that we work with. ok no big deal. So this girl says that since she gets off work earlier then us she will go and get tickets.
So when i am done my shift i call her to find out where she is and she tells me that she is meeting Amy to give Amy her debit card back and then Amy wants to run to find some more stuff for her costume and she will meet me at the theater in half an hour.
ok so off i go to the theater to meet her. Now this girl is really, really not attractive and i am not a shallow person, but while she is talking to me all i can stare at is ALL THIS HAIR GROWING ON HER NECK. and the whole time i am thinking HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU WALK AROUND WITH HAIR GROWING ON YOUR NECK?! Then i relies that she is talking about how HOT Zack Effron is and how great high school musical 3 was.
i cut her off and tell her that i am really hungry and maybe we should go get our seats and i can get some over priced fast food. So we go and get seats and then i leave to go to the movie KFC. When i get back Amy has showed up, but is on her cell phone. And the way we are all sitting is me, then neck hair and then amy. So i'm lost sitting on the end while they chat about how great Kevin Smith is.
The movie starts and it is SO funny. I was laughing so hard and enjoying myself. So the movie ends and hair neck says how great it is and then says how she has NEVER SEEN A PORNO and then amy also says she has never seen a porno and they high five. THEY HIGH FIVE OVER NEVER SEEING PORN. so i ask them how is that even possible. Hair neck says that she once so a documentary on deep throat or some shit and they had clips from the porn and it made her feel sick. amy says that she has never been in a situation where watching porn was the current activity. so i say YOU HAVE THE INTERNET YOU CAN WATCH PORN EVERY DAY! i'm stunned by this. even now as i type this i wonder how 2 girls in their 20s have never watched a complete porn. the subject gets changed and we leave.
amy gets out her cell phone and hair neck starts to go on about how rude it is to talk on your phone while with other people. i look around for a way home and out of this mess. i end up walking a few blocks with them and then jump on a streetcar hardly caring which way it is going.
so i end up home at 10pm on Halloween. And wishing i had either not gone out at all or just fucked work and got drunk and partied.
i dunno. Am i over reacting? is it weird that people in their early 20s have not EVER watched porn or am i one of the few 'cool' chicks out there and love watching porn?
VIEW 20 of 20 COMMENTS
ive been watching porn since i was like 5... hahaha not seeing it and you're in your 20's is crazy talk.
my parents always had some illegal box/dish type thing, so as soon as they weren't near me...PORN! haha
what a little perv i was.. and still am i guess.
and zack and miri=fucking amazingly hilarious. i fucking LOVED it. so good.
Hairneck made me think of a girl at work who's sporting a full beard. Perhaps they're related somehow. Is it wrong that I have trouble making eye contact...it's like a tractorbeam, sucks me right in...and to be honest I'm quite jealous. Its full and bushy like a 70's porn, which I can't believe those two losers haven't even seen...I mean come on...who hasn't seen porn...it's 2008, its basically on cable late at night.
Let's not forget, the internet was invented for PRON!!! Google just about any word and porn will come up (come up...get it...har har...). They've got to be avoiding it. Which brings us to the state of their sex lives....how does one spell missionary? B-O-R-I-N-G.
I've been looking at porn since the ripe old age of six years old. They're just freaks.
In closing if anyone ever high fives for not watching porn again please push them down the nearest flight of stairs. It would be the right thing to do.