here are some facts about me....
1) i can tend to be bossy...i never mean to, it just always happens one way or another.
2) im possesive...i dont really mean to do this either...i think mainly it is because it is part of my depression. i get too close to people...and when something happens that makes me feel like they are being an asshole or trying to not hang out with me....i feel like it is bullshit..and that sets into my possesiveness. *sigh*
3) i never know what to do with myself...i love one thing for a long time and then all of a sudden loose completely all interest in it. i have done this for years..and keep doing it..i dont know why..and i cant help myself...
4) people get sick of me very quickly..i have told people not to get to know me and be my friend because eventually they will get sick of me and get rid of me...they tell me that they would never do that..so i get to be their friend...and then they do in fact get sick of me.
5) im scared of commitment...even though i can be possesive.
6) i have this 6th sense type of thing...i know people...i mean..really know people. once i get to hanging out with people and such..i know exactly what they are going to do in certain situations...i dont know...its weird and i cant really explain it....there is this person that i have not seen in months...started talking to him again..and while i was talking to him i knew exactly how he was going to act and what he was going to say...i know how he would act if me him and another person would hang out...i just...know...
i dont know though...im just sick of myself...i keep making so many mistakes about people and decisions. whenever i seem to get just the littlest bit happy...something goes terribly wrong. i feel like it would be much better just to slit my wrists than keep living my life and keep messing up...im just..sick of myself....
i dont know what to say...im going to bed..
1) i can tend to be bossy...i never mean to, it just always happens one way or another.
2) im possesive...i dont really mean to do this either...i think mainly it is because it is part of my depression. i get too close to people...and when something happens that makes me feel like they are being an asshole or trying to not hang out with me....i feel like it is bullshit..and that sets into my possesiveness. *sigh*
3) i never know what to do with myself...i love one thing for a long time and then all of a sudden loose completely all interest in it. i have done this for years..and keep doing it..i dont know why..and i cant help myself...
4) people get sick of me very quickly..i have told people not to get to know me and be my friend because eventually they will get sick of me and get rid of me...they tell me that they would never do that..so i get to be their friend...and then they do in fact get sick of me.
5) im scared of commitment...even though i can be possesive.
6) i have this 6th sense type of thing...i know people...i mean..really know people. once i get to hanging out with people and such..i know exactly what they are going to do in certain situations...i dont know...its weird and i cant really explain it....there is this person that i have not seen in months...started talking to him again..and while i was talking to him i knew exactly how he was going to act and what he was going to say...i know how he would act if me him and another person would hang out...i just...know...
i dont know though...im just sick of myself...i keep making so many mistakes about people and decisions. whenever i seem to get just the littlest bit happy...something goes terribly wrong. i feel like it would be much better just to slit my wrists than keep living my life and keep messing up...im just..sick of myself....
i dont know what to say...im going to bed..
the_mad_monk:
I think you're still learning what you do and don't want out of a relationship. It takes time believe me!!! but you'll get there sweetheart!!! 