sooooo........ i know i said i wasnt going to have any drinks for 30 days........ but last night i went out anyway. here are some of the highlights.
got into a fight with a girl i cant stand. called her cuntzilla and told her i was going to rip out her intestines and wear them as a hat. we later hugged it out. however - i still hate that bitch.
danced with my friend claire and nicky to "90s jams" on the jukebox at a bar where people are usualy dancing. got lots of weird looks.... flipped everyone the finger.
some nasty girl that looks like she has a penis fucked my friends boyfriend right before they broke up. i kept yelling across the bar that i could see her massive boner and long balls hanging out of her skirt. she got scared and left.
me and nicky thought it would be a great idea to steal glasses from the bar and throw them through the window of her ex boyfriends house. i started gathering glasses....... she took off. turns out she is way smarter than me and figured out if we did that we would probably go to jail. instead she threw an orange at his car.
went to my friends house who lives close to where we were hanging out so i could sleep and not drive home wasted. (a friend i used to kinda date/sleep with). i got in his bed and he told me "page, i dont think we should have sex tonight." i laughed in his face - told him he was a fucking retard if he thinks i want to have sex with him and to shut the fuck up and go to bed. i woke up hours later to him grunting really loud and doing push ups right next to the side of the bed where i was sleeping. what a fag.
on the way to go to my sleep destination i stopped at my crush's house. made him get out of bed and answer the door.... kissed him. and left. no words were exchanged. he seemed confused.
dear lord....... my life is retarded. i have been puking all day. went to work for 1 hour and then bailed. i have been laying in bed most of the day watching seinfeld in between puking my ass off. fml. fuck you 2011
got into a fight with a girl i cant stand. called her cuntzilla and told her i was going to rip out her intestines and wear them as a hat. we later hugged it out. however - i still hate that bitch.
danced with my friend claire and nicky to "90s jams" on the jukebox at a bar where people are usualy dancing. got lots of weird looks.... flipped everyone the finger.
some nasty girl that looks like she has a penis fucked my friends boyfriend right before they broke up. i kept yelling across the bar that i could see her massive boner and long balls hanging out of her skirt. she got scared and left.
me and nicky thought it would be a great idea to steal glasses from the bar and throw them through the window of her ex boyfriends house. i started gathering glasses....... she took off. turns out she is way smarter than me and figured out if we did that we would probably go to jail. instead she threw an orange at his car.
went to my friends house who lives close to where we were hanging out so i could sleep and not drive home wasted. (a friend i used to kinda date/sleep with). i got in his bed and he told me "page, i dont think we should have sex tonight." i laughed in his face - told him he was a fucking retard if he thinks i want to have sex with him and to shut the fuck up and go to bed. i woke up hours later to him grunting really loud and doing push ups right next to the side of the bed where i was sleeping. what a fag.
on the way to go to my sleep destination i stopped at my crush's house. made him get out of bed and answer the door.... kissed him. and left. no words were exchanged. he seemed confused.
dear lord....... my life is retarded. i have been puking all day. went to work for 1 hour and then bailed. i have been laying in bed most of the day watching seinfeld in between puking my ass off. fml. fuck you 2011
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
pagebot:
doom....... i envy you. ps.... what are we doing for our birthday? and daniel....... get the pineapples ready my friend!!
sealion:
Ahahaha, 'cuntzilla'! That's awesome! I like to call bitchy women 'gash monsters'. It is offensive and imaginative.