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padam

Wales.

Member Since 2009

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Monday Dec 14, 2009

Dec 14, 2009
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What is the most emotionally challenging aspect of the holidays for you? Do you enjoy this season more or less than you did as a child?

View 454 Answers

[Cross post from Livejournal]


Emotionally challenging? That would have to be watching my sister buzz with excitement as she waits for Santa Claus to come. It leaves me torn between a feeling of immense joy at her innocence, and a feeling of immense pain at tangibility of this. This time too shall end, and this beauty corrupted.

I'm also getting increasingly aware that my days at home are almost numbered. This may well be my last official Christmas here. That thought it poignantly depressing. I've only just outgrown my teenage unease, and chaotic hormones! And now, I will be torn away from all my comfort, I suppose. But, it will be worth it to make new comforts.

It would be different if we were a family with a large home, or a spare room. As most people know, I share a room with my sister (aged 9). Before my sister was born I shared with my brother. I think I managed around a year of solitude, but I must have been ten at that time, and my memory fails me. Anyway, I have very few memories of night spend alone. Even if my sister is sleeping at a friends house, the place will still be bustling - my brother, father, mother and the six pets will be sauntering around.

It is the first time I have thought these words, but I am very scared of leaving here. I have never been alone before. I have only spent ONE night in my own house without other people. I didn't realise this until tonight. Isn't that sad?! Isn't that ridiculous? It is frightening to think that in 9 months I will be living somewhere else, forging new bonds, living with new comforts.

I have spent up to five days away from home before now. All of these periods were in 2007, nearly three years ago. I realise that this sounds insanely childish to the majority of people - especially those forced to move out at an early age - but I have had a happy life in my house, and anticipating living somewhere else is . . . bewildering.

Anyway, I rant.

To bed with me, at all of 9:05pm.
dryad:
Emotionally challenging? I can't buy presents for my loved ones or even xmas decorations because I am so broke.
I work in a retail store, so I am surrounded by this stuff, and it makes me happy but then sad that I can't share the love. If that makes sense. tongue
Dec 14, 2009
realistic67:
The emotional Hand Grenade that is my sister: She's a serious on again off again ( until recently... when she was diagnosed with TB and HIV ) chemical addict -

On one level, It's amazing that AIDS has provided a level of responsiblity and even times sanity to my extended family when it comes to her... My parents and my niece however, it's how nobody wants to talk about the 500 pound elephant in the room that's been there on and off ( and visited by RCMP on some Christmases ) since my sister was in highschool.

It bothered my brother so much he moved to Berlin with a hot Au-pair to escape. Leaving his wife behind.

Yay Christmas... meanwhile I'm working on "White Christmas - The Musical " It's like living 40 hours a week in an department store window from right after halloween through to boxing day.

I escape with filling my head with copious amounts of Industrial music.
Dec 14, 2009

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