paaacc_raz

It's been intense and I don't know what to say about all that has happened to me the last couple of weeks. I lost a great man in my life my grandfather who was literally like a father to me. Going home for the funeral was the most isolated and saddest moments in my life. Not only did my grandfather died, my grandmother his wife suffered from internal bleeding and wasn't able to attend his funeral. She was stuck in ICU at Fountain Valley hospital for the entire duration since his death the previous Sunday.

The hardest part for me wasn't his death it was the parts were I saw my grandmother suffering emotional, as she wasn't allowed to say good-bye and attend the funeral. Everyone else in my family went to his funeral except me; I volunteered to stay with my grandmother in the hospital the day of including the previous night. That Saturday was the most heart breaking moments of my life seeing my grandmother morn for my grandfather. They been married for nearly 70 years and she wasn't able to see him one last time.

I'm officially back home in Arizona and ready to move with a new resilience of heart. I took a risk last week and flew in for this job interview that I whole-heartedly wanted and I didn't get. With all that have happen as I mentioned I have a new resilience of heart to get through this phase of my life. I'm ready and looking forward to starting a completely new life here with what I have. My mom and grandmother for the most part want me to move back home to California. I honestly don't want to do that because Arizona has been a blessing and break for me so far.

I understand my grandmother's sense of loneliness and it hurts me, but I know everyone else there as to step-up for her other then me. I did what I can and I'm a little bit debating whether I should move back home. As for right now I just have to focus my energy here while I'm still in Arizona.