p0go

... wtf now...

so all day i've been waking up in different spots on my room. my jaw hurts because i think the first time i passed out i hit it on something...

i've talked to jenn. i really don't want to split up with her. it took alot for me to fall in love, and even more to say it. she says she is always alone. she never has anyone to be with. i sent her a text message saying i wasn't ready to roll over and die on our relationship. i'm not going to wimp out over 1 fight. that just stupid. i worked too hard already at this to let that happen. but i sent her another message that if she feels she needs to talk she can call me, i'm not sleeping tonight. so she calls and she has like 3 friends over. sounds real alone to me. so i asked her if it was a bad time. she said it was for a serious conversation. i told her i still loved her. her responce was "i feel the same way too" which is fine with me. then i told her i had to go and hung up. but i know her friend becker heard me say it because he busted out laughing... i don't mind the guy. they are good friends. even more he has a fianc.

why the fuck... just why the fuck do i have to fall for someone... what stupidmotherfuckingbitchasspissfuckingcheapbastard emotion is this...

fucking hate my heart. it's why i've passed out several times. why i can't function, why i can't get my drivers liscence. why i can't do anything aerobic...

so i say again... fuck