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oz_the_vamp

South of PGH

Member Since 2005

Followers 56 Following 100

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Saturday Jul 01, 2006

Jul 1, 2006
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I am officially relationship challenged. I've been observing this behavior for quite some time now, but the latest version of the break-up scenario made it so very clear.
The things I've figured out about me through the women I've dated:
1. If things don't turn to sex on the first date, I'm only good for 3 dates... at most.
2. If things do turn to sex on the first date, I'm only good until commitment or exclusivity rear their ugly heads.
3. Some women don't like my goatee.
4. I'm one hell of an orgasm donor, both orally and pelvicly.
5. Yet I'm apparently a better friend than lover. (I must be one hell of a friend)
6. I'm very charming and funny, to overcome my lack of good looks (yellow eyes and pointy teeth).
7. Women don't like me when I'm nice, because I'm not asshole enough.
8. Women don't like me when I'm an asshole, because I'm extremely good at being an asshole.
9. I need to find a middle ground between nice and asshole, where I can comfortably exist. I'm not sure if such a place exists for me, since I'm comfortable being very nice, and I'm way too comfortable being an asshole, yet never the two have met.
10. If there's no spark after a couple dates, having sex doesn't help create a spark.

So anyway, this means I'm officially single (again). This isn't necessarily a bad thing. There was no spark, no point in trying to lie to ourselves.
With any luck, I'll be back donating orgasms very soon. It is my life's blood!

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