outrightmd

just had lunch with some of my friends. it was good. i love just having lunch and talking about nothing for a while. definitely takes my mind off all the things that are floating around in my head at any given moment.

i really wish there were more going on right now. i'm struggling with just being alone with myself. i always feel like i need something going on to distract me from the obvious. i hate boredom. it makes me crazy. today is so boring that even reading is out of the question. i wish i were back in school again. i wish my life were progessing along a linear path. granted, i know that being in treatment and just being here and involved is improvement for me, but i feel like i need more, should be doing more. i'm so hypercritical of where i am in life. i've squandered so many opportunities to grow up and move on. i really don't want to squander this one due to impatience.

my best friend is having his sentencing today. he should be getting five years probation. i'm worried about him because he's worried. i hope the judge doesn't pull anything crazy. he's completely changed from the person he was six months ago.

<now playing on random .. amel larrieux - down>