This post is really just me speaking my mind, expressing myself. With no expectation of anyone actually reading it. Because, really, I'm not an attractive woman, I'm not even a woman.
Seriously. I'm approaching 40. I'm 5'11" and currently 120kg. That's some 240lbs. I've let myself go. Because I flat out haven't cared, or had reason to care in a long time. Last few months, I've dropped over 15kgs from what I was, that's gotta be near 40lbs, without checking a conversion chart. I have next to nil confidence, with women, meeting new people, even Photography. Plus. I just don't try. Pretty much with anything.
But tonight. My mind was blown. Just having some quiet drinks after closing with friends, in a closed bar. You know. That time of night when drinks are now free because the doors are locked. I actually got asked out. One of the girls who is just a friend of a staff member, we were chatting away, and because I honestly have, and had, no expectation of anything, i carry on as per the norm. My usual direct, uncensored self. Apparently she sees something in me, enough that she took the step to ask me out for dinner this coming week. But what gets me is, she's really just amazingly beautiful. Way outside of what I perceive to be my league. But, also so down to earth. I don't even know if I'm thinking straight. I haven't had this many of these 7% beers before, ever. Not in one sitting. I feel like I'm rambling on like some kind of idiot. But. For somebody who has actively avoided meeting women, actively avoided seeking any sort of female companionship, for so many years, just because I couldn't get over being burned badly by an ex.. It's just a shock to the system..
Now. The question is.. will I blow it? Can I just take things as they come, and continue not having expectations..
