oubliette1

arg. I was doing so well for the past few days. Today was so much fun. Up until the last hour and a half. Goddam Tony. He makes me so angry sometimes. I went to the coast with my family. That was fun. My mum only made minor comments about what a fuck up I was, and that I'm a whore and whatnot. That was fun. But my niece made my day. She just makes everything happy for me. I left to go to Tony's at around 10. We made plans to hang out. Um, that worked...not. He wasn't home. He went out with Katie. When he got back he was just in a pissy mood. He barely acknowleged I was there. Then I realize that I can't stay at his house. I have no where else to go. So I go to leave. He gets mad again. He knows I have no where to go. I finally am at the end of my tether. And I scream at the top of my lungs "WELL FUCK YOU THEN". His neighbors heard. Now they prolly think I'm a drama queen. He leaves. I get in my car. He comes out. This is my fault. When I asked him to hang out apparently I was supposed to call earlier in the day to finalize things. This is my fault I didn't call...when He didn't call me either. We talk. Nothings settled. Nothings ok. I tell him everythings ok. I leave. I try to find a place to stay. My friend who is out for the night tells me her back door is open. I'm alone in my friends house, while he's fucking his new girlfriend. And it's all my fault.

I stumbled before you
I let you see my faults
You saw inside
The fucked up person I am
You crawled from the woodworks
And into my brain
Saw what I thought
And felt my pain
But even with you in there
Telling me it's easy to feel better
I still feel derilict
My insides are empty
And my heart is shattered
But let's move on
And pretend like we never mattered