oubliette1

Well, I've been feeling odd lately, and I realized why. I'm happy. I'm not really used to it, but I am. It's strange. But at the same time I'm still lonely. I tried to see Dani. We're so different. We're not who we used to be. Everyone grows up, but leaving eachother behind is not what we had in mind. I remember all the time we spent together. Everyday there was something we wished we could change. About ourselves and about our situations. There was something wrong, and no way to fix it. But at least then we had eachother. In a strange callous way we were together. Now the only thing I can think to say to her is goodbye. Now there is so much I would change to bring it back. To bring us back. For the first time in a long time, I have no steady bestfriend. Not to say Tony isn't my bestfriend. Not to say that at all, but he's busier now. I don't know how to put it without sounding selfish, or like an attention whore. It's just different now. I love everyone that has touched my life somehow, and I can't express that enough.

This new guy Hugh has become kinda creepy. He calls often, and sent a text that started out "Hey beautiful"...at 7:30 in the morning. I don't sleep often enough, and I sure as hell don't need my cell phone dinglinging me at an insane hour of the morning. I need to tell him I have no romantic intentions for ANYONE any time in the near (and somewhat distant) future. I'd like to be friends with him, but I don't want more than that from anybody. Not even the guy I'm interested in.

I got my keeloid (sp?) removed today. The doctor stuck my ear with a needle and was about to put in the anesthesia (it's painful) then asks the nurse what kind of anesthesia it was...and it turns out it was the wrong kind. So he had to do it a second time with a different anesthia. I get the stitches out Tuesday. I kept the keeloid and it's in a jar if anyone wants to see it.