oubliette1

I'm sorry to all my friends for being so selfish. I know I shouldn't have expected them to drop what they wanted to do for me. But at zero hour when I could have used some help; Dani wanted time with her boyfriend, Jackie wanted time with her new guys, and Tony had something going on too. I couldn't get ahold of Morgan at all. Jaime was out of town. I know I have to be strong through this illness that Caitlyn is going through. But there are times when I feel like if she dies I could just die along with her. I'm in no position to tell Jen about this because it's her little girl. I can't imagine how she feels. Like I said before. I'm not looking for sympathy...it'd just be nice to feel like there's someone remotely there for me sometimes. I'm not gunna post anything more about her until I find out more facts. I'm gunna try to be more upbeat. I'm gunna stop relying on other people to help me. Especially since I'm not the one who needs it.

Upbeat post:
Mary came over to Tony's house when I was there. She talked with me for a while. She made me feel better about things. I went over to Tony's neighbors house. Sarah told me there that I was always welcome in her house. The next day Rosie told me that she doesn't do that to most girls. That she really doesn't like most girls. Tony helped me a lot too. When he got home we talked for a while. He let me get everything out. I think that's what I needed. The next morning Rosie told me I was gorgeous...but I acted like a fat chick. She said I was one of very few people in high school that she genuinly liked. Because I wasn't fake like most girls. I've always been intrigued by Rosie, and I like Sarah a lot. There's another person I'm beginging to find intriguing as well. He's very enigmatic to me, and I want to get to know him. Not relationship or even crush. Just curiosity I guess. Well, "que sera sera" as the french say...or "whatever will be, will be".