oubliette

I spent a gorgeous weekend in New York with Sarah, arriving just in time to film a music video, sleep a contented sleep, eat an egg, read a book, use a gift certificate, eat fake chicken, meet Zina, drink whiskey, talk forever, drink more whiskey, laugh at Danny, and sleep a contented sleep once more. And talk to Franz on the phone. I'm so happy that the people in my life are slowly becoming people I *want* to have in my life: people I love, only, always. People I feel like me around. People who will always understand my language.

Waking up to a rain-shower in the smooth arms of these people also makes me happy.

Visiting New York is usually offers a lot of opportunity for reflection. I lived there for a time and though it was only a few short years ago, I've come so incredibly far since then. I remember the subway system as utterly terrifying; the homeless people as deeply disturbing; every social situation nerve-wracking and an incitement to panic. Now the odd streets go West, the even streets East. The homeless are saddening but not (usually) to the point of tears. And I don't need to swallow a couple Vicodin just to appear in public. I'm so, so different than I was then, thanks to a milieu of therapy, unceasing introspection, and Lexapro.

I love this growing. I can feel it happening- I'm passing new milemarkers every day. I'm so grateful and gladdened for what I'm becoming. By who I've become.