This entry is dedicated to Harry Lesabre; car salesman by day, bird of paradise by night.
It was a pleasant morning in the garden where me and my old buddy Howlin jack were munching veggies and having an intriguing debate.
No way! said jack, A manticore would totally whoop on a chimera,
I think not, said I, A chimera could easily kill a manticore,
Nonsense! barked Jack, Irritated. It was always easy to irritate Howlin Jack.
Hey, go lick that pear. said Jack pointing at a hideous gourd like thing that had sprouted from a sickly patch of earth.
No way, I said, You go lick it.
I bet we could get Reggie to lick the pear.
Yes, I thought Reggie would be a good guin I mean subject for our curiosity. Reggie wouldnt mind at all.
And so good ole Reggie not only licked thething but bit into its soft warty flesh.
Thats the most horrid pear Ive ever seen, said Jack
I dont think its a pear Jack. Pears grow on trees, I replied.
Prunes, pears, pumpkins, whatever, growled Jack Irritably.
Yeah, whatever, I replied.
is air is ood uddies said Reggie through a mouth full of brownish mush.
Close your pie hole, said Jack real mean like, You look like your eating poop.
I ike oo spat Reggie as foulness dripped down his furry chin.
Then things got a little out of hand.
Reggie got some of that rot caught in the wrong pipe or something because he coughed and spat a great glob of filth right on Howlin Jack who jumped up squealing and dancing about. Then Reggie fell over on his back with his feet in the air. His eyes were glazed over and his tongue (having been stained brown by the deadly mush of that wretched gourd) hung out like diseased slug.
Oh no, Reggies dead, I howled in dismay. Then I turned to Jack and choked in horror at what I saw. All the flesh and fur on Jacks head had been eaten away leaving only a chattering chinchilla skull in its place.
OH GOD! I screamed and screamed and screamed while Howling Jack chattered and croaked and danced about the garden in glee!
Then Reggie dissolved into a pile of brown slime that oozed off into the bushes gurgling and bubbling leaving a trail of dead grass as it slithered.
I got to get that thing before it gets under the house, I thought.
But it was too late. Its always too late for slime.
MEANWHILE UNDER THE HOUSE
*gurglepopgurgleslooppoingdrip*
It was a pleasant morning in the garden where me and my old buddy Howlin jack were munching veggies and having an intriguing debate.
No way! said jack, A manticore would totally whoop on a chimera,
I think not, said I, A chimera could easily kill a manticore,
Nonsense! barked Jack, Irritated. It was always easy to irritate Howlin Jack.
Hey, go lick that pear. said Jack pointing at a hideous gourd like thing that had sprouted from a sickly patch of earth.
No way, I said, You go lick it.
I bet we could get Reggie to lick the pear.
Yes, I thought Reggie would be a good guin I mean subject for our curiosity. Reggie wouldnt mind at all.
And so good ole Reggie not only licked thething but bit into its soft warty flesh.
Thats the most horrid pear Ive ever seen, said Jack
I dont think its a pear Jack. Pears grow on trees, I replied.
Prunes, pears, pumpkins, whatever, growled Jack Irritably.
Yeah, whatever, I replied.
is air is ood uddies said Reggie through a mouth full of brownish mush.
Close your pie hole, said Jack real mean like, You look like your eating poop.
I ike oo spat Reggie as foulness dripped down his furry chin.
Then things got a little out of hand.
Reggie got some of that rot caught in the wrong pipe or something because he coughed and spat a great glob of filth right on Howlin Jack who jumped up squealing and dancing about. Then Reggie fell over on his back with his feet in the air. His eyes were glazed over and his tongue (having been stained brown by the deadly mush of that wretched gourd) hung out like diseased slug.
Oh no, Reggies dead, I howled in dismay. Then I turned to Jack and choked in horror at what I saw. All the flesh and fur on Jacks head had been eaten away leaving only a chattering chinchilla skull in its place.
OH GOD! I screamed and screamed and screamed while Howling Jack chattered and croaked and danced about the garden in glee!
Then Reggie dissolved into a pile of brown slime that oozed off into the bushes gurgling and bubbling leaving a trail of dead grass as it slithered.
I got to get that thing before it gets under the house, I thought.
But it was too late. Its always too late for slime.
MEANWHILE UNDER THE HOUSE
*gurglepopgurgleslooppoingdrip*
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
so i ate the bluebirds. i forgot to de-beak and now i have tummy ache.