otsu

I wish I would not be as much often angry and mad as I am lately. But today, I found out why I was so angry: I see the other's pain and suffering and just don't know what to do to help them. And I know it's not easy to help most people because they are so emprisonned in their illusions. For example, some people seems to really think that it's the end of the world if they cannot buy their particular kind of carrot muffins for one day. !! How can they be happy when they have so much expectations as if everything is meant to please them. They think they are the most important human being existing and that everything should be about them. Wow, now I'm sad just thinking about it.

But I prefer to be sad than angry. Sadness I can deal with. As you probably guessed from my past entries, I was adopted. But that's okay, that's not a big deal for me. I accept it. Two years ago, my biological mother was looking for me to inform me that she has the fibrocystic disease gene but she wasn't looking for me. I was so sad, not because she didn't want to see me but because she found out by giving birth to a ill son. Can you imagine, you give birth to an healthy little girl in your 20's but ain't ready for her, and when you are finally ready and prepare to have a family, you have an ill son. I cried for a week. Most people told me that it was karma, but I don't believe them. How can nourishing a baby for 9 months and giving him to loving people who can't have children of their own bring bad karma? She could had an abortion, you know. But she didn't.

Anyway, what about today: the yucky butcher didn't work today. Hooray for me! I ate like a pig with my boy's family: we went to a buffet and I didn't even had stomachspace for dessert. !! I feel like a sunday today. I wish it were sunday, in that case I wouldn't work tomorrow.

Have a great sunday everyone !

, Otsu.