Scrolling through Pinterest on one of my off moments, I came across this quote. it reminded me of a blog homework that is fairly old but I just haven't had the chance to write.
Why I joined Suicide Girls.
I grew up in a very small town in this small state of Louisiana. I've always been quite the unusual girl, and for the longest time I was quite ashamed of it. living in the south and being any bit of different doesn't usually work well. especially when you have anxiety. I remember being in high school and wondering if I would ever find friends like me. I had to eventually find someone like me, right? I remember the first time I found out about suicide girls, I was senior in high school and someone showed me @laneychantal. I fell in love! she was so beautiful, was tiny like I was at the time, had tattoos, and her interests were pretty similar to mine!
I wanted to be a part of this! I had to, but once I had the confidence, I decided to do things that I had always wanted to. unfortunately for my mother, that also included coming out. my mother was not happy, she kicked me out of the house and I became homeless. I lived in my car for about 2 years until I was almost 21. I was an emotional wreck and so was my life. I had nothing going for me and my life was in shambles. I would scroll through social media and find suicide girls. I dreamed of getting myself together, shooting a set, and joining this amazing community. to have friends and have my confidence back.
it's taken me awhile to put my life together. I moved to Atlanta, I went to cosmetology school, moved back to Louisiana, worked as a hair stylist for awhile. I then worked as a hair stylist for a funeral home, which changed my life. I realized what I was meant to do! I immediately started to get my confidence back! so before I applied to mortuary school, I decided to shoot a set. I never had my pictures taken, so I did my best finding a photographer. my friend actually agreed to shoot my set.
it started raining and I was so bummed out but I wanted to shoot. I didn't want to give up! so we shot the set after it rained. I'll admit, it is not the best work I could have done but with where I was in my life, I was proud of it.
now that I'm here, my confidence is building everyday and although I'm still a small hopeful, I really really look forward to making my way through the site and making friends! this is seriously the life I've dreamed of, I've met @fresa who is becoming one of my good friends, I'm shooting a new set with @darwin and meeting some more hopefuls next weekend! and I can't wait for all that's in store for as a Hopeful Suicide Girl, and one day as a Suicide Girl!
so in short, I've joined and decided to be a hopeful for all the friendships, the new adventures, the empowerment, the fun! I joined so I can be a better me, a more confident me!
XOXO
@rambo @missy @lyxzen
