osaka

i watch the wire. i go to work.
i deal with stupid and boring people and make a millionth latte "but with half an espresso". i wish i had their awful, mundane lives of sitting in coffee shops wasting money on cake they leave half eaten, going to parties and meeting friends to discuss their "amazing" careers. No scratch that, just writing that out is painful. I want something else though. than i have. the wire. work. anger. frustration. my body hurts a lot. maybe not everywhere all the time. it's probably not serious, 'just' overtiredness. maybe. Trying not to slip into the black hole is taking up a lot of energy i don't replenish because i get a good nights sleep about once a week. maybe. if im lucky i don't have dreams.
this is not what i wanted.