osaka

probably
its just the cold,its just the winter that seems to be lasting an age.

i suddenly felt so grey.

i felt un-cheered by little things. small things. the bright colours have seeped out the window, run down the page and disappeared.

i was watching spirited away last night (chris hadnt seen it before) and in the scene where chihiro runs along a falling down drainpipe just to catch onto a metal ladder on the wall in the last second, to climb unimaginably high to find Haku who is injured... in that scene i realised, suddenly, that all the people (except chris) who i would run along falling down drainpipes and fight evil for, are all very, very far away.

i think its a testament to how bad i have become at making friends. or how badly i speak polish. or both.

i dont know what to do to feel like im not melting into the background.

strange tho, cause im quite happy really. it must be the winter...