osaka

i think i am constantly waiting
waiting for the moment when i can be myself and do the things i want to do and say what i think and and and
etc.
because its easier (?) to just hide inside,and look out from a great distance, keep it at arms length
and be anonymous
and not step on toes
and not make decisions
take no responsibility

but really it all backfires, dosnt it? you step on toes you didnt notice and instead of responsibility for yourself you find you have no autonomy, you're just dull and no one knows you
and that you're still waiting

shall i write out the obvious conclusions? too often things are left unsaid
but un-subtlety is so vulgar

oh whatever