I have lost an important thing in my life and I dont know how to find it. What I have lost you ask. Motivation, motivation to do all the things I know I need to do and worse yet motivation to do all the things want to do. With out motivation I have just become bitter. I am mad at the world for no good reason. I isolate myself from the rest of the world because I dont want to blow up at somebody for just being who they are. I am forced to put on this outer persona of happiness every day when I go to work. I used to love my job but now it just bothers the shit out of me because I dont want to be there. I want to stay at home watch TV and do nothing. This is very unhealthy I know so I get up go to work and put on my happy face. I just keep getting more and more pissed at the world. All this is stemming from my lack of motivation. There is a thought that I have but I dont know if it makes sense. I am going through a big change in my life, could my lack of motivation be me trying to hold on to what I know. I am worried about this change; I know how miserable I am now I dont know how miserable I could be after this. This also could be the best thing I will ever do in my life but I just find myself resisting the change. Thanks to all who have read though this dribble. May all your kindness be returned to you ten-fold. 
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nuff talk about hair tho, im starting to feel like a chick. hahaha
do something everyday towards your goals, no matter how large or small or if its 1 or 10 things you do. youll be less angry cause you can go to bed at night knowing you make some sort of progress. in the end itll all add up. if youre pissed about where you are then you have to make a change or face a growing anger... (sorry, yoda sound like i do not mean to)
me, im just angry cause i dont fucking trust anyone... ha