Every body has done a pro and con list before. Do I buy this car, do I take this new job, and so on and so forth. What do you do when the scales are weighted to one side but you cant seem to go in that direction? I have all these thing that show that I should be happy. Career going good. New truck, very cool. Dog, cute as ever. Spring is here, which means I can golf again. All this screams you should be happy dumbass but im not. I am nowhere close to being happy. There are these thoughts that pass through this mangled mind of mine that I should not be thinking. I think I am having a nervous breakdown. I just cant deal with my life right now. I just wish I was somebody else. My emotions are just over whelming me that I feel like im drowning in them. I do apologize for being a mess tonight. Here is probably what sent me off tonight. This is the lyrics to a new country song that on the radio.


How Do You Get That Lonely By Blaine Larsen

It was just another story written on the second page Underneath the Tiger's football score It said he was only eighteen, a boy about my age They found him face down on the bedroom floor There'll be services on Friday at the Lawrence Funeral Home Then out on Mooresville highway, they'll lay him 'neath a stone... How do you get that lonely, how do you hurt that bad To make you make the call, that havin' no life at all Is better than the life that you had How do you feel so empty, you want to let it all go How do you get that lonely... and nobody know Did his girlfriend break up with him, did he buy or steal that gun? Did he lose a fight with drugs or alcohol? Did his Mom and Daddy forget to say I love you son? Did no one see the writing on the wall? I'm not blamin' anybody, we all do the best we can I know hindsight's 20/20, but I still don't understand... How do you get that lonely, how do you hurt that bad To make you make the call, that havin' no life at all Is better than the life that you had How do you feel so empty, you want to let it all go How do you get that lonely... and nobody know It was just another story printed on the second page Underneath the Tiger's football score...


That has to be the most depressing song I have ever heard and the video is not much better. Typing this out has somewhat made me feel a little better. I thank all that have spent there time reading this. It makes me feel ok knowing that I can spill all this out and not be judged for it. All my real world friends could never understand what I am going through I hope you do. This is a shitty journal for such a beautiful day. Till fate or free time brings us together again I bid all happy thoughts.