I seem to do my best thinking at one in the morning lately.
I have come across two different issues today that I need everyones help with.
First issue is my soon to be ex-wife asked me to loan her 1000 dollars so she could get a new car. No matter how much she has screwed me over I am sitting here really thinking that I am going to give it to her. The thing is that the car she has now is in both of our names and if I give her the money that will take care of one of the last things tying us together. I know I should not do it but I think I am going to. Am I just being a sucker or what?
Second issue is I feel my friends, how shall I say this, are passing judgment on me because they still look at me as where I was in my married life. It is getting harder to talk to my local friends, strange how I find it so easy to open up to people I have never met, in my mind I only have one person (and my dog) that has always accepted me for who I am. I want to publicly thank my friend elora she has always taken care of me and I owe her so much for that. I was talking to my friend today and I told him about this website and he acted as if I was in some sort of cult. He is a good friend but does not realize where I am in my life and how messed up I am. Why is it so easy to talk to strangers yet so hard to talk to people you are supposed to trust?
I am sorry for the fragmented thoughts I am still trying to teach myself to write down my thoughts so they make sense to whoever is reading this. God only knows they barely make sense in my head. Till fate or free time brings us together again goodnight.
P.S. I would like to say hi to my two new friends ladyk and notoriousDUG and thank you for your offers of friendship it is much appreciated and much needed at this point in my life.
I have come across two different issues today that I need everyones help with.
First issue is my soon to be ex-wife asked me to loan her 1000 dollars so she could get a new car. No matter how much she has screwed me over I am sitting here really thinking that I am going to give it to her. The thing is that the car she has now is in both of our names and if I give her the money that will take care of one of the last things tying us together. I know I should not do it but I think I am going to. Am I just being a sucker or what?
Second issue is I feel my friends, how shall I say this, are passing judgment on me because they still look at me as where I was in my married life. It is getting harder to talk to my local friends, strange how I find it so easy to open up to people I have never met, in my mind I only have one person (and my dog) that has always accepted me for who I am. I want to publicly thank my friend elora she has always taken care of me and I owe her so much for that. I was talking to my friend today and I told him about this website and he acted as if I was in some sort of cult. He is a good friend but does not realize where I am in my life and how messed up I am. Why is it so easy to talk to strangers yet so hard to talk to people you are supposed to trust?
I am sorry for the fragmented thoughts I am still trying to teach myself to write down my thoughts so they make sense to whoever is reading this. God only knows they barely make sense in my head. Till fate or free time brings us together again goodnight.
P.S. I would like to say hi to my two new friends ladyk and notoriousDUG and thank you for your offers of friendship it is much appreciated and much needed at this point in my life.
because face to face means judgement of some kind. i've thought about this to death and i've come up w/ many theories but this one seems like a big one. i keep an lj and the stuff i spill there is unlike anything i could say face to face w/ somebody. especially these days.
if journaling like this works for you then damn what other people think. go for it and exorcize whatever demons you need to.