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orson

London

Member Since 2005

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Tuesday Aug 01, 2006

Aug 1, 2006
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Obituary

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend,
Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure
how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in
bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such
valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early
bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my
fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend
more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not
children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well
intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of
a six-year- old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a
classmate; teenssuspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch;
and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only
worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked
teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their
unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to
get parental consent to administer Asprin, sun lotion or a Sticking
Plaster to a student - but could not inform the parents when a
student became
pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten
Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals
received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend
yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you
for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a
woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She
spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents,
Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and
his son, Reason.

He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My
Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his
funeral because so few realized he was gone.

If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join
the majority and do nothing.

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