ormunroe

I'm feeling better.

Leaving Germany this upcoming Friday. So anxious and excited yet I know I'll miss it once I'm gone...a little.

Back to 118lbs so I figure most of the 5lbs I lost was water weight since I couldn't even keep my own saliva down for a while. Oh well...

I'm conflicted about losing weight/maintaining curves. I do like having some meat on my bones but I miss my carefree skinny days style. I enjoy looking like a woman now instead of a 15 yr old girl but I don't like trying to find styles that "flatter" my new curves (read: hide bulges).

I just need to get comfortable with myself again or for the first time. I can't maintain the strict diets. I like food...fattening, sweet, salty, pasta-y. I think there can be something sensual about a good meal. The richness of the flavor and savoring every bite. I'm a moaning eater...if the meal warrants an eye-rolling, point to your mouth as your chew moan then thats what it gets.

I think before I became a mother I was willing to go the extra mile but then I didn't have to. At 21, 5ft and 98lbs, I couldn't ever make it to 100lbs and I ate like a starved buffalo pig.

I guess when I go down to NC I'll sweat some pounds off as soon as I step off the plane.

My happy medium is not being concerned about the numbers but slimming my thighs and flattening my stomach. That way I'll have some curve to swerve but not too much jiggle to wiggle. Just go with it.

Yes, I'm goin' to Carolina in my mind...