Well, the husband got mad at me the other day after he looked at the bank statement and saw $1000 had been taken out (we had a nice tax return). He asked me what it was for and I told him it was for the lump sum student loan payment he said I could make.
Anyway, he then told me that he's not going to be my 'sucker' and since he doesn't even know whether or not I'm staying with him that I don't get to use his money for anything 'special' for myself. I can only buy the baby things and household essentials. Neither can I make anymore payments of any amount with his money on my student loans (which will go into default if I don't).
When he lashes out it makes me less and less inclined to stay. I know he was angry and he has a right to be angry but being vindictive isn't necessary. He apologized last night but it just doesn't sit well with me. I let him rant and rave and I could feel myself becoming more distant from him.
My friend works Sunday mornings and sometimes during the week at the daycare at the chapel for $11.00 an hour so I'm going to see if I can start working there. She said I'd be able to bring the baby so I'd essentially get paid for mainly looking after my own child. It'd give me my own money (enough to make my monthly student loan payment and make me feel somewhat independent again) and the baby will get to socialize more.
So anywho, he decided to leave for a while once he told me that and I called my mom. She told me that I just need to be forgiving and understand that he's under a lot of stress. To try and do what I can for him and to continue to spend his money like I have been doing. She said that I needed to go out and buy something that day because he'll change his mind later. Mothers...
She also said that whether or not I remain in a relationship with him, problems will arise in any relationship and I have to make up in my mind whether I'll be willing to work through them. "With any partner your relationship will be tested." It tickled me to no end that she used the PC term 'partner'. And of course, she's right...again.
Anyway, he then told me that he's not going to be my 'sucker' and since he doesn't even know whether or not I'm staying with him that I don't get to use his money for anything 'special' for myself. I can only buy the baby things and household essentials. Neither can I make anymore payments of any amount with his money on my student loans (which will go into default if I don't).
When he lashes out it makes me less and less inclined to stay. I know he was angry and he has a right to be angry but being vindictive isn't necessary. He apologized last night but it just doesn't sit well with me. I let him rant and rave and I could feel myself becoming more distant from him.
My friend works Sunday mornings and sometimes during the week at the daycare at the chapel for $11.00 an hour so I'm going to see if I can start working there. She said I'd be able to bring the baby so I'd essentially get paid for mainly looking after my own child. It'd give me my own money (enough to make my monthly student loan payment and make me feel somewhat independent again) and the baby will get to socialize more.
So anywho, he decided to leave for a while once he told me that and I called my mom. She told me that I just need to be forgiving and understand that he's under a lot of stress. To try and do what I can for him and to continue to spend his money like I have been doing. She said that I needed to go out and buy something that day because he'll change his mind later. Mothers...
She also said that whether or not I remain in a relationship with him, problems will arise in any relationship and I have to make up in my mind whether I'll be willing to work through them. "With any partner your relationship will be tested." It tickled me to no end that she used the PC term 'partner'. And of course, she's right...again.
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i hope it all works out for you though.