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ormunroe

Germany

Member Since 2005

Followers 28 Following 19

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Tuesday Apr 05, 2005

Apr 4, 2005
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Woot! UNC won the NCAA championship! biggrin No, I'm not much of a college basketball fan but UNC are my peoples.

Things have gotten somewhat weird. I don't know, it feels like I have to work my way back into the flow of this site again. Perhaps its just me but it seems things with the majority of the people on my friends list have slowed down.

I actually didn't take any pics during my vacation. My husband had the camera and he's not much of a picture-taker. But I'll take some soon and get them up while my hair still looks kinda decent. tongue

The weather is warming up nicely and I can't wait to go to Venice in May.

Oh, I turn 23 this month. I'm getting up there. miao!!

Don't mean to be vulgar but I'm going to put it out there. My husband and I havent had relations in about 2 months. No, not even while at Myrtle Beach. Not b/c of lack of sexual desire on either part but b/c I don't feel its right. I'm turned on by the aspects of him that remind me of a woman and then when I think about how he'd feel if he knew it was his 'womanly aspects' that physically turn me on, I can't go through with having relations with him. I know how hurt/sad I'd feel if situations were reversed. I think I'll be asking him to enter counseling sessions with me soon. Probably after my next private one.

It feels like things may come to a head sooner than anticipated. But how in the world am I supposed to get across how much I love and care for him while saying that I don't think we will work out in marriage? Emotions and logic rarely balance out when in the heat of the moment. And who in the world wants to hear, "Can we just be best friends" after a marriage?! It seems ludicrous to my own eyes and I'm typing it but above all I want him always in my life as a best friend and father of our child. Compromise can go only so far and I think once you begin changing what makes you essentially who you are, you have to draw a line.

Its just a very weird time. I have so much love for this man but I can also see the need to leave (not immediately, mind you). Weird, weird, weird... surreal
thedarkness:
I think the slowing down of the friends list for me is that I never have time to relpy to anyone, but once school is over; watch out, I will talk everyones eyes out. Becayse you can't hear me speak, only read what I write.

You get the point.
Apr 5, 2005
avaneveah:
Counseling couldnt hurt smile
Apr 5, 2005

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