Not such a great day today. Had a session in Santa Monica. That was fine, but I was really tense because of the meeting I was scheduled to have after it.
That's when the bad part started. Me, my lawyer, my ex, my exe's lawyer. Everything has been settled I think. Custody... check. Visitation ... check. Division of property ... check. Child support and alimony ammounts ... check.
Well, it turns out there is one more thing they wanted to discuss. They want spuosal support to be for life. My lawyer thought they were joking when they brought it up.
We were married for 14 years. That is considered a long term marriage. It is not, however, considered in California to be grounds for lifetime support. Evidently her lawyer ( a freind of hers and now a FORMER friend of mine) seems to feel otherwise.
It floored me. I thought this was all over. I thought things were going to remain amicable. Now we are going to have to go to court. (something we had avoided throughout the entire process)
California is a "no fault" state. So it dosn't matter that she left to "go find herself" and I had to take care of our son on my own while she was floating around and had to lie to him about where mommy was every night when he asked. It dosn't matter that after two months of marriage counselling and my every effort to make things right for her she decided that she didn't know if she even wanted to try to fix things. It dosn't matter that she hasn't even LOOKED for a job in over five years. It dosn't matter that I have taken him every time she has had something to do in the evening and couldn't be bothered.
Nope.
She has been living off money that I give her each month and I have tried very hard to make sure she has been ok. I paid off her car. I bought her furniture and a TV and VCR etc.. I gave her my laptop PC. I just bought her a damn fridge for her new place (and an icemaker because she said she needed it)
She's getting 100k in community assests and I have to roll it into my mortgage and pay it off for the next 30 years. Plus close to 50k a year in child support and alimony.
The worst part right now is I have no one to vent about all of this to. The one friend I have that I can talk to is at a funeral in Barbados for her grandmother. Not a good time to call and whine.
So... I'm posting it here. Thanks god no one reads the male member's journals
Well, I feel a little better having done this.